From time immemorial, the issue of one lover or partner cutting corners at the expense of the other has continued to generate rage and controversy.
The level at which lovers go to deal with a caught or even suspected partner, these days leaves much to be desired and one continues to wonder if the issue of of cheating on one’s lover or spouse should be a do or die affair.
Reports in newspapers, social media are inundated with stories and photographs of the remains of victims of envious lovers once there is any trace of infidelity without any concrete evidence to back their suspicion.
Dealing with such erring lover in those days ranged from lacing the cheat with charms that were capable of rendering the culprit useless or even cutting short his/her lifespan or making him impotent, while some would outrightly lay ambush to kill the man or woman. Some others even went to the extent of severing the organ used in committing the ‘sin’ or exchange blows in milder cases.
Punishing such fellows these days range from bathing the man or woman with acid, pouring of kerosene and setting ablaze among other deadly substances all in a bid to avenge a wrong doing.
The question now is, who will cast the first stone? Consequently, YEMISI AOFOLAJU and JOAN OMIONAWELE asked a cross section of the Nigerian society what they would do if they discovered that their lover/spouse is cheating on them. Excerpts:
A middle aged man who pleaded anonymity said: I can only go out of my way if I have never been involved in the same game. It is always easy to pick the pecks in other people’s eyes. I have never imagined what would happen because I have made up my mind not to do anything to hurt my spouse. I cannot say exactly what my immediate reaction would because I have never found myself in such mess.
Ajoke Bannabas volunteered thus:
What is the big deal? What you people have failed to realise is that marriage is nothing but bondage. You discover that there is no ideal marriage, because couples often than not realised that they got married to wrong partners and wished they were never pronounced as husband and wife.
I would prefer opting for divorce if I am tired of my partner rather than opt for an affair out of wedlock. At one point in time, you would get tired of one another, take it or leave it.
Comfort Musa, a mother of two has this to say, It is only in this part of the world that too much emphasis is placed on marriage even if the home is hell on earth. And as long as we pretend that all is well, we’ll continue to witness such bizarre things. Why wouldn’t I cut corners? Am I the only woman in my husband’s life? Inasmuch as he deems it fit to sleep around, then what stops me? He is so irresponsible in every sense of the word. The game is 50/50. He can’t accuse me and likewise.
Moshood Akinsola
I am a jealous fellow, no matter how much persuasion I get, I would not change my mind on sending her packing immediately I catch her red-handed.
John Ozumbakwe
It is better imagined than knowing that my spouse is cheating. For me, it would be the end of the road for that relationship. This is because there is something propelling and exciting her about the person is having an affair with and this automatically puts me in danger, and to be on the safe side, it would be better to call off the relationship.
Donald Adebola
If I was cheating and then she cheats, I do not have any moral obligation to judge her. But if I were faithful and she cheats on me, I would find it extremely hard to forgive her. If she shows remorse, I might listen to pleadings from people around me.(For the sake of our children).
However, I would warn sternly that if such happens again, she would be sent packing. But, it is important to note that some women cannot be faithful to just one man. Some girls sometimes have intercourse with more than five men before marriage and so, due to exposure, they might find it hard to cope with one man. Such ladies need psychological evaluation and treatment.
Nonye Amaechi
If my lover cheats, I will dump him Asap(as soon as possible). The truth is, life is too short to pine for someone, I am not saying it would be easy, but with necessary distractions, I would be fine, a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage. I believe that someone who cheats in a relationship (especially when we are already committed will cheat in marriage. He would not change overnight. But if I am married to such a man (awusubillahi), I would automatically become a tongue-speaking sister, but who wants to pray for someone for the rest of his life? I am not one of those who judge others because of unpleasant experiences with a few people, so I would date again till I find someone who would compromise for me and vice versa. Love is a give and take matter.
Michael Ogundipe
Surely,one doesn’t have to run one’s private affair with friends, but it is important to find out about whoever one wants to have an intimate relationship with. I respect my friends and I would raise eyebrows if they are all against my choice. obviously , I would walk away and act as if nothing ever happened. Once beaten, twice shy. She doesn’t deserve to die. I would just stay out of her reach and know that she is not meant for me.
Murewa Olubela
We ladies are smart and mature. Life comes with heartbreaks. It’s the way we deal with such heartbreaks that makes us better humans! Let the bobo go and move on.
Tola Adigun
As far as I have not invested too much in the relationship, I would be glad that it happened.
Bukola Tosin Adekunle
One has to take things easy because life has it’s own ups and downs. If I kill myself because of a man, he would bring another girl to my funeral. I would forget about him and move on with my life.
Fransisca Dada
A relationship is about being with someone who makes you happy in ways that no one else can. There is no point staying with a man who cheats on you. If I find out that my lover is cheating on me, it simply means he doesn’t deserve having me . I would talk to him about it, figure out why he decided to cheat on me, if I am at fault, I would try to work on my weak point and move on. But if he continues to cheat, I would leave him, then it would have been clearer that he is not worthy of my love.
Blessing Edet
It depends on how far the relationship has gone. Men would always be men, but if my lover takes it upon himself to make cheating a regular thing to humiliate me, then I would know that we never had a relationship. Love doesn’t go out of its way to hurt one.
Biola Gbolade
If he treats me right, of course, I would reciprocate by being there for him when he is down, but if he cheats and not ready to change, I would back out of the relationship.
Aile Oleghe
I go free the babe immediately! Life is too short to remove Usb safely. It actually depends on who she cheats with, but my best option would be to leave her.
Yvonne Edo-olotu
(Laughs). I would cut off his balls and make sure that he doesn’t try such with me ever again. I would leave him because there is no time to waste. Trust is like a crumbled piece of paper, no matter how well it is straightened, it can never be straight again.
Joy Ajibola
I would dump his sorry self immediately; life is too short to rinse garri before drinking it, The moment a man cheats on his woman, he would do it over and over again., cheating is never an option, it’s a choice. A relationship is not a test or an examination, so one isn’t allowed to cheat. If you want to mess around by all means, please, endeavour to remain single. Before I forgive anybody, he must tell me his excuse for his actions, and I wouldn’t want to hear that it was the devil, or a mistake, because one doesn’t accidentally find his manhood in a girl’s vagina. It is as simple as that.
Osariemhen Paul
I would pray because only God can change man, and man can’t change man. I would talk things over with her and see if things would work out. I would try to handle it as a man would, though no one prays to handle such issues.
Tope Sonubi
It depends on how it happened or how I found out. If we are really committed, I would ask him what got into him with pain in my heart, the truth is, no one takes cheating kindly, even those who cheat would never want to be cheated. I hate infidelity, but would give him another chance if he proves himself. It’s all a matter of choice and control.
Babatunde Ojobaro
When it comes to heart matters, I don’t play and I don’t expect to be played on. I would call her and and put forward the evidence of my claims, and if she still denies it, that is the end of the relationship. If we go on, I would become paranoid and would start suspecting all her moves thinking she is with another guy even if she is a changed person. Thus, I would save myself the stress and move on.
source: Tribune
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