12 Tips For Surviving Your First Year Of Marriage

Happy Marriage

All over the globe, divorce rates are becoming more alarming by the day, marriages are hitting the rocks faster than the Titanic while bedroom crises flare up at the slightest provocation. So, what can you do to lay a very solid foundation during your first year of marriage? Get it right from the very first night of wedlock! Here are some tips for conjugal bliss:


1•KNOW THAT IT IS A PARTNERSHIP
That you are married does not mean all the load is now on the head of your hapless spouse. Take time to share responsibilities. Nothing bad in making breakfast and serving her in bed. A spouse is never a slave. You are PARTNERS.

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2•COMMUNICATE CONSTANTLY
Nothing rejuvenates a marriage like effective communication. Do not expect your spouse to be a mind reader. Keep no malice, let him or her know when you are hurt, pleased, moody or when you just want to be alone! Communicate, communicate and communicate. Be open and honest about EVERYTHING. You do not hide your nudity from the one who will bury you goes a Yoruba proverb.

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3•YOU ARE TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE
Even siblings fight, not to talk of two different personalities trying to live together. Identify (do not ignore) and understand your differences and work on them. Lay more emphasis on what you have in common. Praise your strengths and downplay the weaknesses. Help each other improve.
4•NEVER FORGET THESE 
Thank you. I am sorry. I love you. And maybe: Leave me jooor, I am not playing with you o…..lmao! In short, maintain your sense of humor even in trying times. Start every morning in style and make going to bed very spectacular. But minimize the things that will make you say sorry in the first instance. #DDDD
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5•BE SENSITIVE, RESPECTFUL AND THOUGHTFUL
Give gifts (surprise packages always work). Remember birthdays and special anniversaries. Can anything be worse than forgetting your husband’s birthday in the first year of marriage? Pay attention even to the slightest details. Say kind words, be observant, thoughtful, sensitive and caring -always. Complement one another, poke fun at his new green tie or praise her new polka dot skirt. Also, be appreciative and respectful at all times. Marriage is not a dictatorship or a prison sentence.
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6•FIRE THE PASSION!
Marriage does not mean an end to romance. Flirt with your spouse and make him go gaga with that see-through nightie. Make her head spin with those cooing whispers of yours. Bedroom acrobatics and gymnastics can NEVER be enough. It is integral and of crucial importance to the success of your marriage. Grab her from behind while in the kitchen. Do not shy away. Be imaginative, explorative, playful and crazy! Remember, you are meant for each other. Let me stop here before I get clubbed…lol
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7•ALWAYS MAKE TIME FOR EACH OTHER 
The world is now so fast-paced that atimes one cannot but wonder where humans are rushing to -if not their graves. Ensure that no matter how busy your schedule is, CREATE time for your partner. No complaints, no compromise, no excuses! Remember, Dr. Ben Carson is a world-class neurosurgeon busier than most men, performing more than 500 surgeries in a year (there are 365 days, remember?) but that does not stop him from being a wonderful father and husband. Which one be your own, Mr. Always Busy?
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8•LEARN TO FORGIVE 
There will be mistakes. There will be hurt. There will be pain. You must expect all these and know that the perfect marriage is always under construction. You learn new things everyday and improve. Learn to forgive and ease tension. If you will fight, fight to make up, and that itself should not take too long.
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9•WATCH YOUR TONGUE
Be sincere and frank but not unnecessarily full of criticism. Reproach with love and correct with affection. Remember, words can make or break the strongest of marriages. Do not pierce your lover’s heart with your tongue.
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10•VIOLENCE? NEVER!
A Hindu proverb says: Never hit your wife, even with a flower. A wife is not a punching bag. If you want to be like Muhammad Ali, go and register with the nearest boxing club! And wives, that does not mean you should knock him with spoons or smash him unconscious with orogun o…lol! Resist the hurt to hit. If you have a short fuse and blow up easily, seek help: go for a long walk, see a counsellor, pray to God or do all.
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11•RESIST EXTERNAL INFLUENCES, BUILD INNER STRENGTHS 
Have it written, coded, programmed and encrypted in your brain that this is your marriage and you need to make it work. Resist the temptation of narrating all that happens in your matrimonial home to ‘friends’, ‘relatives’ and ‘well-wishers’. Remember, no one will share the pain and turmoil of a divorce with you, not those nosy in-laws. Sort out all arguments and conflicts between yourselves -and in your room noni. Do not introduce a third party, and if you must, then let it be GOD.
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12•HAVE FUN -TOGETHER
A walk down the beach, a cruise down the river, a walk down the park or just looking at the sun set together, ensure that you have a lot of fun TOGETHER. Steal time to text chat with or ping each other while in the office, help her plait her hair (I am still yet to learn that one o…lol), trim his beard and race each other in the backyard…lmao! Just have fun TOGETHER!
Culled from Abiyamo