How Do I Help My Wife Cope With Cancer?

My wife has just been diagnosed with stage 2 breast cancer and I don’t know how to help her. Please, tell me what to do. Thank you.

Hello,
I understand your helplessness about your wife’s cancer and I appreciate the fact that you’re seeking help in this regard. Cancer is a frustrating illness to deal with, for the victim as well as the caregiver. But the following steps could really help.


It is very normal and natural for you both to feel shaken and scared, angry, tearful, and many other emotions, but make sure that you go through it together. I understand that we go through these emotions differently, but make sure that you’re together in this boat.

Be there for her. Ask her what she wants from you and give it to her, however awkward her request may be. I think you should read up on the disease too because the knowledge will help you understand what is going with her. Respect her decision for some space because honestly, a woman with cancer will feel betrayed by her body. She may probably be going through some emotional roller-coaster right now and she may need some space to sort through them.

Understand her fears and assure her that you’re there for her. Reemphasise your love for her. More than ever, tell her that you love her and show her that you do too. Listen to her. This may be the most valuable thing you can do right now. You know your spouse better than anyone else, and you trust each other. I understand there will be some awkward moments and that is okay, neither of you have the right words to express this new development.  Bring your friends and family in on this. This may be a very difficult decision to make, , your friends and families around will help a great deal in dealing with this problem.

Take care of yourself. I understand that you’re not the one with the disease; but you are the number one caregiver. You need to be well enough to help. No, you’re not the one who was just handed a diagnosis, but you need to stay well enough to help. Get enough sleep and take as much rest as possible. It will help.

Make plans. This is a very unpleasant thing to think about right now, but you need to anyway. Get your affairs in other. I am not saying your wife may not beat the cancer, but it is important to be prepared in case the worst happens. It may seem selfish to you right now or even outright wrong, but think of it this way, even if your wife survives the cancer, you will both feel more comfortable knowing that you have put your personal affairs in order. Also, respect her decision for a mastectomy, if it comes to that.


Source: Tribune